When I met you
for the very first time,
you were like a bee;
the bee,
that goes from flower to flower
to find that long lost taste,
of his long lost love;
until you met the spices
I hid in my eyes.
നാം ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നതൊക്കെയും ജീവിതം നൽകണം എന്നില്ല. ആ നിരാശകളിൽ നിന്ന് പൊലിയുന്നത് ജീവിതത്തിനോടു തന്നെയുള്ള അടങ്ങാത്ത ഭ്രമമാണ് ; ഇനിയെന്തിനു എന്ന തോന്നലുകൾ ആണ്. ബാക്കി ഹൃദയത്തിന്റെ ഭാഷയിൽ നന്ദി പറയാൻ എനിക്കറിയില്ല. കാരണം, എനിക്കങ്ങനെയൊന്നില്ല. എപ്പൊഴോ, ആർക്കൊക്കെയോ വേണ്ടി ഞാനതു വിറ്റു തുലച്ചു. അതിലൊട്ടു ഖേദമില്ല താനും. തീരാക്കടമായി നിൽക്കുന്നതോ മറ്റുള്ളോർ എന്നിൽ നിറച്ച സ്നേഹവും വിശ്വസവും. അതു തീർക്കാനെന്റെ ആയുസിന്നേടുകൾ തികയുന്നതുമല്ല. എണ്ണപ്പെട്ട ദിനങ്ങളിൽ ഇനിയും എണ്ണിത്തീരാത്ത കടങ്ങളുമായി എരിഞ്ഞടങ്ങാനുള്ള കാത്തിരിപ്പു മാത്രമാണിനിയെന്നിൽ ബാക്കി.
“The worst part of holding memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” Lois Lowry, The Giver Pain You are the only pain left in me. Pain, that makes me cry out loud at odd hours of late winter nights. Pain, as hard as it was, when you left. Pain, that tried too hard to teach me how to stop loving anyone as much as life itself; poor thing, it could never really do it. You are the only memory left in me, of pain itself. You were pain: when I loved you, I never had enough for others. I gave it all to you. You are pain: the moments you gave me to think and rethink about, they burn inside my head, killing me bit by bit. You will remain pain: your dark smile is printed on my bare mind, too deep to get faded. I pity my weak heart which tries to make me believe you are still mine. But, the truth is too big to hide. You don't belong with me; neither your heart, nor your thoughts:...
Every morning, we wake up from our incomplete dreams to reality. Reality always need not be what we see or sense. Because others are also good at faking things. The one you think is your best friend might be the one who actually hates you the most. But, they hide it so beautifully. The one you think is the man of your dreams might actually be thinking how he could get rid of you. Unbelievable, but not impossible. The one you think is the last person who would care a damn about what may come of you might be the one who actually cares the most about the things in your life. Never thought about it that way? Start thinking. So, how do you know those people who actually want you or need you to be with them? Whom you could trust enough to share your life with? Little joys, quite tears and STFU moments , anything and everything about you? Is there a way to know them? Like, do they carry those small flash cards saying "I like you", "You are awesome" and ...
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